Dear Citizen Poop Scoopers:
Here are the men who promise to serve us tons of poop to shovel.
From left to right:
1.) Newt Gingrich: wings spread out and ready to make an instant get away.
2.) Rick Santorum: Having failed at everything so far, Radical Reckless Rick is gazing off into the distant horizon into which he will soon wander.
3.) Mitt Romney: Standing stoney firm, struggling to hold middle ground and posturing against rival newcomers to his right.
4.) Rick Perry: Sleepy looking phony, feckless Rick icky with a lot of dark spots and puffy chest.
5.) Michelle Bachmann: Shrinking stature
6.) Jon Huntsman: Standing in the shadow of the right wing making noise.
7.) Ron Paul: Unequivocal, robust and right old bird
8.) Herman Cain: Triple nine-er belly flop. (note to Herman: 'no new taxes')
Not Pictured: Gary Johnson, the first candidate ever to carve a niche out of poop. And yet a man with a record that doesn't absolutely stink..
Holy Crap! We're doomed.
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